you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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