she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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