i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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