loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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