I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
