Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
