The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
