hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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