Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
