What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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