hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
