my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
