Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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