Duck Duck Cougar?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
