no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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