I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
