There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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