And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
