There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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