hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
