so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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