I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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