I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
