I don't think brook has ever known best
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
