Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
