We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
