If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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