She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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