she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I want her autograph on my taint
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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