You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
