just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
