either way he was missing a nipple.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
