She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
