xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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