how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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