Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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