i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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