I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Send help, water and tortillas.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
