Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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