After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
