At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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