They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
