Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
