Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
