Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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