Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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