i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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