what day is it and did you see me today?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have tasted many bathrooms
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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