we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
