I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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