And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
